Memories

Right now i'm feeling...sad? melancholy? disappointed?
I can't pinpoint the exact emotion but it's not a great one.
I was bored and on facebook at 1 am...big surprise
and i saw that Tyler had added a picture to the group Nanaimo Christian School.
I didnt know that the group existed

Funny story...i went to NCS from grade 7 through grade 9
and i've for some reason tried to block out those memories.
I wasn't unhappy...so much as not sure of my place.
I started going there literally weeks after my parents seperated and i was angry.
I was an instant hit with the guys....the girls not so much.
But i was a angry confused 13 year old
and like ben so nicely told me "You have a great first impression 'chelle, you're hot, but you're kind of a bitch"
I wasn't really.
I didnt understand why things had changed.
So i wasnt overly nice. I acted bitchy but that wasnt who i was.

In grade 8 i was me again, i dealt with my issues and moved past it, but i still didnt know who i was.
The girls still didnt like me. A few in particular just despised me.
So i hung out with the guys, and in turn crushed on half of them at one point.
I never really figured out my place there.
And when i left NCS to follow my "bestfriend" to ndss, i was more confused about who i was than ever.

I was beautiful. I was thin and pretty and smart.
But i thought i was fat ugly and stupid.
I left NCS, broken and without a solid identity.
I had to start all over again without knowing anyone
and took classes with the kids who bullied me in grade 4-6, the ones who robbed me of my identity in the first place.

I hated high school, both of them
I didnt realise who i was until i was graduated.
I did my best not to think about high school, but especially not NCS,
Because i feel like a failure everytime i do.
I left there and i dont have relationships with any of those people.

I was looking at the pictures of NCS and the pictures of my grad class, or at least the class i would have graduated with had i stayed.
I read the conversations below, and they all talked about how close they were
and how happy they are that they were all friends
and it stung. alot.

I doubt that in 10 years anyone from either school will remember who i was.
Because i didnt know who i was...

romeo and juliet life-size

"Probably the best part was cheering Michelle up with Tyler, and him telling her that they are like Romeo and Juliet ("You can NEVER leave me. If you do it'll be like Romeo and Juliet. You'll die, and then I'll kill myself, and you will wake up and then see me dead and kill yourself." "Uh... thanks?" "You are my JULIET! Deal with it.") and him telling her that if his future wife doesn't like Michelle, he's taking back the ring." -Molly Woodford.

I never thought i'd be someone's Juliet, even non-romantically

Reunited with Sunrise...only to be torn apart yet again...

This weekend was pretty incredible. It didnt start well but everything ended up great.
I saw friends i haven't seen since the summer...which seems like forever ago by the way.
It was good. The worship band Fly Sparrow Fly, is amazing. Chris janzen is so effing talented.
Luke Nielson has the most amazing voice, I could honestly just listen to him forever.
The war college kids ran a prayer walk for human trafficking..which was a theme this weekend.
I'm pretty ashamed about how oblivious i've been to it all. I think it was just easier to "not realise" or in all honesty just not think about it all. Which is incredibly selfish.
The shirts we sold at camp came from child labour and sweat shops, that's a slap in the face.
You cant hear about the things we heard about this weekend without wanting to do something.
Tyler decided not to wear anything that isnt fair trade and i think that's pretty incredible.
But lately thats the only way to describe him. I'm so proud of the person and the leader he's become. He is one of the most selfless people i know, and easily the best friend i have ever had. He speaks to people with confidence, but not arrogance which i have to give him props for. And he leads so easily, people want to follow him without him asking. He's a role model and a strong christian. He tells it how it is, as bluntly as he needs to, even to me.
He flat out told me not to sit around accepting my burdens and really do something about it. I respect him for that. Most others would rather put all their effort into making me happy short term. He's more interested in making me take responsibility and be as strong as he knows i can be. And i have nothing but respect for that. He's younger than me but i look up to him. He told me this weekend it hurts him to see me cry, and he's not the first person who's said that. Molly says it's the way i cry, and the sound of it. But i think that i usually hold up as strong as i can, that when i finally do cry, it's because it's impossible to hold it in anymore. I think it scares my friends to see me that vulnerable. It's also kind of amazing to realise how truly loved i am, because sometimes it's easy to forget.

Random lyrics that I like.

"And I need you like a heart needs a beat"
- One Republic "Apologize"

So I'd be lying if I said I dont listen to this song on repeat. These guys are hot, better than a boy band but still a boy band. The lyrics are ok, and I just thought this was the corniest line ever.

"Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet"
- Faber Drive "Tongue Tied"

Also another song on my playlist. This line really doesnt fit with the rest of the song...but I like it all the same.

"I wanna lock you up in my closet, when no one's around
I wanna put your hand in my pocket, because you're allowed
I wanna drive you into the corner, and kiss you without a sound"
- Avril Lavigne "Hot"

K, so the song's all about sex and is totally ridiculous. But I've been singing those first 3 lines over and over again all week. Avril Lavigne in that classy way of hers has written a song that I cant get out of my head. This song is also on my playlist...Don't judge me.

"A bit unassured, A bit insecure
And your walls fall down"
- Bedoin Soundclash "Walls Fall Down"

Listen to his voice and that fact that the lyrics to this song either suck or don't make sense doesn't matter at all. I love the way he sings every syllable.

I went for my N test this week and passed.
I was pretty psyched about life.
I drove everywhere for two days.
I also made up with a couple of friends i wasn't getting along with,
And that's always awesome.
But now the boredom has set in.
I read alot, and i looked forward all week for the gossip girl premiere.
I've read the books and it's not very similar,
But the new direction is good i guess.
My sister ever the lover of drama was totally excited about the new show.
Sarah: I'm so excited! I love this show! And all the Drama!
Michelle: Don't you have enough drama in your life Sarah?
Sarah: Michelle! I dont know anyone who's slept with their bestfriend's boyfriend!
(In a tone that indicated disappointment, of all things.)
Michelle: That's a good thing!

First Kiss

"...will I close my eyes
will I hold my breath
will I wanna cry
will our souls connect?
...gonna say now
I can picture it all,
inside my head
just how it's going to feel
but a girl can only dream so much
now she wants to make it real
- make it real..."

These are lyrics from a Mandy Moore song.
The music is catchy, yet slightly annoying.
The lyrics are corny and totally juvenile,
considering she's twenty something.
Yet it's a funny subject.
Every girl imagines their first kiss.
She obviously took it to the extreme.
Everyone remembers their first kiss.
Usually with a grimace.
They're hyped up to be incredible.
But they're usually awkward and embarrassing.
Which is probably why i laugh when i listen to this song.
Well I laugh until her voice gets whiny and I change the song.
I just thought i'd blog about it,
because i hate and like this song.
I still havent figured out what i like about it yet.

That thing when anger becomes indifference...

It's just one of those things,
One of those feelings,
That whether righteous or not,
Can't last forever.
It feels good,
It feels right,
But it's not,
So there's guilt there.
Whether expressed or not,
It lays beneath the surface,
Ready to rear it's head,
It's ugly head.
Time goes on,
Common sense prevails,
Or you simply give up.
You raise your hands,
You wave the white flag,
And you say "You win."
Suddenly the anger lessens,
And the pain increases.
But only beneath the surface,
Where no one else can see it.
No one else can feel it.
You sigh and pretend,
For their benefit,
That everything's ok.
Making them happy,
Even if you're not.
They wont know the difference,
They simply don't care.
And it's so inevitable.
When anger becomes indifference.

JOSH MILLS

Earlier this evening
aka 1 minute ago
josh mills complained about a brief mention in my blog
so this one will not be so brief
Josh mills is a funny guy
With usually awesome hair...
these days....not so much
but i dont hold it against him....most of the time
he goes by the undercover name of Slothman
Together he and I Koalababe fight crime one mudshark at a time
I anticipate his next visit very much.
Hopefully this will please him
And he wont be insulted by a brief mention again
P.S I heart him x a million
no bigs.

Caitlyn left for DTES the other day...It's not real yet i dont think. If i went to church tomorow then it would be, but i think since i'm at my dad's it wont be happening. I went into NYSA yesterday and the lady there helped me think about my future. I'm thinking about nursing. I'm good with people and i really love helping people out so i think it's a good fit. Josh was a little bummed that i wont be going to the war college, but i really dont think it's the place for me. I know i would help people down there but i'll be helping people by doing this too. It pays well lol apparently alot more than i ever thought,my mom laughed at my naivity today when i asked if i'd get paid about $15an hour because to me that's alot. She laughed and said at least $30 an hour. I dont hate it. Plus there's this sweet deal that if you work in a smaller community for a year the government will forgive 20% of my student loans! That means 5 years of work in parksville or ladysmith and i'd have university paid for! It also means i can afford a car and not have to drive around in my mom's tin can on wheels. Well i'm excited about it instead of dreading growing up and that's a great feeling.

Home at last.

I'm not gonna lie, I had an incredible summer. Hung out with some of the coolest kids from various situations and made some incredible friends. i had the best VBS team in the history of the world. Jen Champ was the leader and one of the funniest people I know. Her bestfriend Chantelle Gordon was on our team too and the two of them always made things more interesting. Percy and i were in Xlr8 together but only really became good friends this summer. Jessica is crazy but an incredible person. And Tyler is my bestfriend. Our team rarely had fights and always had a good time and i think we all had a crazy shopping addiction because we went to different malls or stores every single day. Time at camp was fun too. I loved councelling and despite personailty differences between me and some of the people i councelled with, i had some great kids come through my cabin and the best LITS anyone could ever ask for. I met Josh mills who is pretty much the funniest person i've ever met. We clicked right away and are really great friends now, too bad he lives in langley... I miss camp. It represents so many great things for me. It's a place to get away and have total God time and meet incredible people. I'm home now and i'm happy to be back with my friends. I'm psyched because my friendships with Mike and Tyler grew so much stronger over the summer. I'm sad that Caitlyn is leaving but so excited about the things she's going to do down in Dtes. Molly is my angel and i didnt realise how much i missed her until i got back. She's just one of those friends who you love all of the days. My other friends have been amazing too. I've been busy hanging out since i got home. Some of them are going back to school and i guess i need to get a job until i decide what i'm doing. Not so sure what the next year or so holds for me but there's nowhere i'd rather be while i figure it out.

Be convicted

Sometimes I wonder at life
I wonder at the way we live our lives
Morals seem to disappear so quickly
We say we live by a moral code
But do we really?
I watch people and the things they do
They also claim a moral code
But so many of them are lying
They must not have read the fine print
I wish they would just realize
Wake up and smell the coffee
The things they do affect them forever
Love is not just a four letter word
Defined by sex and meaningless expressions
Love is also not at first sight
I love you means nothing if you don’t mean it
Take the time to understand the simple formula
Not me plus you equals true love
Feelings plus sacrifice equals love
Drugs and partying are not okay
Why break the body God gave you?
This life is a gift and we throw it away
Perfection is impossible but why not strive?
Do you not see others watching you?
Are you not embarrassed?
I wish it was simpler
As simple as punching you all in the mouth
When you say the things you do, I’m tempted
My god, just be convicted
Stop being so damn stupid
Realize your mistakes and reconcile them
Apologize to the ones you’ve hurt
Apologize to yourself
Value yourself more than you do
You are beautiful and worth his love
You are the reason for the sacrifice
Why not be a sacrifice?
Stop living for the next high
Start living for someone else
Just imagine how things could be different
How you could be different
I forgive you, and so does He.
Forgive yourself and be convicted.

so soon

So yesterday we docked in new york at 9 am and were at the airport by 10ish. We took a plane back to halifax around 1 pm and ended up standing in line for customs for almost 45 minutes....it was crazy but my customs officer was cute and i made him laugh. Well we went to stacey's parent's house for dinner to celebrate ma's day. Her brother shawn cooked and man can he cook. That meal rivaled the 5 course meals on the cruise. Today i slept in....big surprise and we went shopping coz there's a old navy and my and stacey are good at shopping! well then we went to the economy shoe shop which is this cool little ecclectic restaurant and man did it ever fill us up. The shoe shop is known for it's nachos (apparently the best in halifax 10 consecutive years) and the hot guys serving! We went to the pogue for open mike night and altho i promised everyone i would sing tonight, Dion forgot to learn any songs that i know so i promised next time i'm out here. Well now we're back at jiminy's house and we're waiting for donairs (apparently a right of passage her in halifax) well thats it for now. I'm coming home soon but i wont say when. love y'all

the end

The last couple days on the boat were interesting to say the least. People took it upon themselves to achieve a state of drunkeness that totally surpassed the way they had been all week. There were people staggering, strippers (long story short, awkward) alot of food, and tanning. the entertainment was steadily terrible. There was the all in one band that played all week. They were an asian band that somehow knew every song on the planet but no real english. I wasnt into it. There was also this one man show and we assumed he'd be good.....he wasnt lol he kept talking to the audience and saying he wanted to connect with us and i was just wanting to bolt. He full had no idea that people were getting up and leaving. Well so the entertainment wasnt great....but the food and the weather sure were. Did i mention that i'm totally tanned? Well the cruise was amazing and i had a great time.

virgin islands

So i went to tortolla which was totally beautiful. turqoise water and white sand and trees and jungle everywhere! we went to the beach and we had to drive over the mountain to get to the island and the road went straight up over the mountain not around slowly. i'm talking the steepest roads you'll ever see....on a one lane road.....with two way traffick and sharp corners.....nervous. The beach was beautiful and have i mentioned i'm super tanned? well tortolla was amazing. The next day we hit St. thomas which is a american virgin island unlike tortolla which is british. Regardless they drive on the wrong side of the road in both places. The beach was weird here...it had gross little lizards called gekkos on the beach....so i tanned on a picnic table. Well the town was better where i bought all your presents well thats it for now. lots of pictures i'll show you when i get home soon. love you all

Bermuda

So the weather has finally calmed down. There were a couple of days where the weather was more like a hurricane but I survived…So Bermuda was beautiful and my uncle complained about the rain the whole time. It was rainy and windy which is a combination that I happen to love. There were also DOLPHINS!!!!FLIPPING DOLPHINS GUYS! They were so flipping cute. I stood out in the torrential rain just to watch them playing and got totally soaked…caaraaazzzzy!!! So we went into this old pub along the harbor and met some famous football player named Arnie something…He didn’t tell us he was famous but Stacey and I totally recognized him. The fact that they were gagillionaires also tipped us off. The guy who owned the bar was from italy and man was he a hoot! So we wandered around in the rain for a bit. And we hit the mall too….crappiest mall ever. I finaly found a bathing suit that fit and the crazy woman behind the counter tried to screw me over by switching sizes with a smaller one for a higher prices…..so I just left it…stupid lady lol. Well yesterday the weather was amazing. We ate breakfast (not gonna lie I’ve actually been eating breakfast…weird I know) then we headed upstairs and tanned on the top floor at the very back of the boat. The other two got burned….duh that’s what sunscreen is for. I have a beautiful tan. Well they have a gym on the boat and its awesome. I’m running about 2 miles a day on the treadmill and watching movies while I do it. I also have the option of looking out the window man what a view but slightly dizzying! There is also a channel that shows the view from the front of the boat! Well we arrived in Tortolla this morning and I finally get to go swimming in the Caribbean!! YAAAAYYY! Well I’m going to go now. Miss everyone like crazy…

NEW YORK

New York. I don’t even know how to describe New York. The plane ride here sucked big time. I don’t even know how 90 minutes can take so long. But man was it ever worth it. We took a real New York taxi cab from La Guardia airport to our hotel The Marriot Financial Centre in Manhattan. Our hotel was totally swanky and crazy fancy. Red velvet everywhere and concierges and doormen. Our hotel was two blocks from Ground Zero. After getting refreshed at our amazing hotel (did I mention how amazing it was? Like 10 stars!) We went to check out ground zero and man was that a wake up call. I couldn’t understand how people could just stand around taking pictures. Well after looking around there I was pretty depressed. Right across the street is a fire station, and on the wall outside is a memorial for all those who were injured and killed in the 911 attacks who were firefighters. We went to a café right down the street and the food was delicious. That thing they say about New York delis is totally true. Amazing food for good prices.
We went to another 911 exhibit and it had a timeline for what happened in 911. There were some pictures of police officers and firefighters who were helping people out of the buildings who went back in and never came out….also very sobering.
After our time around ground zero we started up Broadway street. Probably the longest street in the world. How do I know that? We walked up Broadway for over 4 hours and didn’t reach the end. After about 4 hours and 10 miles we grabbed a taxi up to Time’s square to see some of the coolest buildings in New York. I got pictures of the Kodak theatre and the Hard rock café and the Empire State Building. We decided not to go up the ESB because lets be honest…not so good with heights or elevators.
We eventually made our way back to the hotel and wandered around the financial district til we found a restaurant on the water. It was a beautiful fancy Italian restaurant and we were really impressed with our table outside until a giant rat ran by….My uncle was so grossed out. We got a table inside and everything after that was good.

DAY 1 OF MY CRUISE

Day 1 of my amazing cruise. The line up for registering wasn’t very long but once we were almost done the computer system crashed and after they finally got it up again things went smoothly. Well this ship is totally huge and I cant even believe how lost we were when we first boarded. But this place is great. It was so nice leaving the harbour. The Coast guard escorted us out of the harbor and the NYPD helicopters circled and waved it was funny. The food on this boat is amazing and the people are funny. It was the sanco de mayo party tonight which is a huge Mexican holiday I guess. There’s live music everywhere and we hit up the karaoke bar tonight and some of the people were awful, truly terrible. My uncle has a great voice apparently lol I’ve never heard him sing. He actually sounds keltic which is interesting. I was also forced to sing two songs which was terrifying. But I did well I guess, the second song the whole bar was singing along with me. The woman in charge has entered me into the talent contest at the end of the week….scary, there’s going to be so many people there that night. The karaoke bar holds only like 50 people at best but the galaxy theatre that it would be held in holds like 1000 people….yikes kind of terrified. Well apparently I’m going to the karaoke bar the next few nights to practice different songs to see which ones I do best. Well I think that’s it for now. Hope everyone’s doing well at home. All of these blogs will probably be posted at the same time because internet access is a major issue. They charge like $1 a minute so we’re going to see how we can scam the system. Ttyl you all later

So long

So sorry guys! havent been able to post in awhile. So the weather has been crap lol. last night the wind was so bad that everyone was sick. I didnt sleep coz i was so scared. The wind was called "gales" i call it "flipping hurricane" Well today we're in bermuda and its....raining lol and uncle is kinda pissed but its starting to clear up. Thought we'd stop in at a computer before we head out. Unfortunately the cruise ship charges like $1 a minute to use their computers so it might just be checking in at ports. But i am keeping up with my daily blog on my uncle's laptop and i'll download them as soon as we have a free wireless signal...possibly back in new york.....in 6 days i think. Well i miss you all like crazy! I've been trying some karaoke and the woman in charge wants me to compete in the talent show at the end of the week....which is held in a gillion person theatre.....slight exageration. Well the prize is a singing contract with the cruise line and a whole lot of cash....we'll see thats about it til i can get you all my detailed blogs but i love you and miss you and i think it's amazing that some of you *cough*molly*cough* are counting the days til i come home. Peace friends...oh yeah and no worries i do have a great tan already!

Just getting ready

So today me and stacey slept in then ran errands all day. Picked up some stuff that we forgot and tried on some bathing suits....no luck. We also just went tanning and I swear those beds are hotter and more like coffins everytime i go, but i definately do not want to burn down there. So i must apologize for my last blog. I was upset and used my only outlet so express myself. I'd delete it....but i dont know how....So i'll just apologize. Well we leave for New York tomorow and i'm totally psyched. I've always wanted to see New York. I'm sure Stacey and I will find some time to do some shopping in Manhattan. I think we're going out for dinner which should be nice but to be fair i'd totally settle for wendy's or that caeser salad mix that i have waiting for me to make in the fridge. So i've been able to talk to almost everyone since i left and for those i havent talked to yet...i love you! Well i think we might go to the pogue tonight to hear the band....i dont remember which one is playing tonight. Well i think i'm gonna download some of the pictures i've taken so far and i promise to update the pictures of the cruise as much as possible. Well this is probably my last blog til i get to New York so wish me luck! I'll try and update tomorow but we'll probably be out exploring the city. Later

Day 4?

So last night my uncle and i went to the pogue for dinner and watched the canucks game. There was literally no one in the bar. The canucks lost...oh well. We were going to go to see "next" but we're doing that tonight instead. Well Stacey is really sick so i'm staying at my uncle's for a couple of days so i'll probably be on the msn for a bit tomorow. well i think after the movie we're going to open mike night ar the pogue. Well thats it for today. Happy Birthday Tyler.

Day 4...

So last night Stacey had some friends over to celebrate her friend Georgia's birthday. She has some pretty cool friends and i had a good time despite the fact that i was the youngest there by at least 10 years. We all went out to the Pogue again last night (my uncle's bar/restaurant/club) And i'm definately the equivalent of the boss's daughter. Even though my uncle wasnt there to look scary and tall when creeps approached i was under constant watch by the bouncers...lol. There was this one creep who came up while i was dancing and put his arms around me. The guy was probably 35 and reallllllly drunk. Within 20 seconds one of the biggest bouncers was there and threatening him.....good times. I danced with some of the cutest boys ever. Nanaimo boys are cute....but they have nothing on the guys out here. The live music is great out here....especially keith who does the best covers on bob marley and johnny cash. The DJ at the poque is crazy talented and crazy cute lol. He made a cd for me my first night. It had some sweet music on it. Well the poque was totally packed last night i couldnt even believe it. It was hard to move and amazing to dance. When i got home i watched dirty dancing havana nights...definately not as good as the original. I talked to molly, caitlyn and carlye last night. It was great to talk to them because i already miss everyone so much....a little bummed that i couldnt talk to everyone but i'm happy to hear prom was sweet. Today we went to Peggy's cove which is a really sweet little cove and it has a lighthouse and a sweet surf. Well i got tons of pictures today, some of the first. Well thats about it for now i guess, i'm going out for dinner at the poque then we're off to see NEXT? not sure if that will be any good, hopefully i'll run into derek again...what a cutie... Happy birthday mike and tyler.

Day 3....so far

So last night i finally got to see the Poque (my uncle's bar) it's by far one of the sweetest places i've ever been. They had a sweet rock band upstairs and an accoustic genius downstairs named keith. He gave me a Cd and signed it to MiCHelle (thought carlye and caitlyn might appreciate that one) he was also incredibly cute. So the staff and the partiers were pretty nice. I met stacey's next door neighbour derek and he's supposed to come over tonight....also cute. He was a little tipsy and is a huge fan of hugging me and proceeded to do so.....about 3 seconds after our first meeting. So halifax weather seems to be alot like nanaimo its always raining but i hear that it's sunny there which is good since you guys are going to prom tonight. Hope preparations are going well. Well i went tanning again with stacey but today didnt go as well as yesterday. I think i burned my back a bit and my calves are definately not feeling so happy right now. It's weird coz we went around 4 (since i woke up at 2...still not used to the jet lag thing) and by then they'd been busy all day so the tanning beds are hotter than they were yesterday, and i could actually feel myself burning a bit....good times. The beds also feel a bit like coffins so i just sorta lie there trying not to open my eyes or think about the fact that it's hard to breathe and impossible to move. Well i'm at stacey's parents house for a bit and they're really nice. They have an amazing golden retreiver that i know mike would love. Well i think that's it for now. Me and stacey have to go pick up some more stuff for her party tonight and i need to shower because i smell like coconut oil....not a bad smell but still gross...anyways thats all for now. Missing you guys like crazy and you'd better take a zillion pictures tonight!

DAY 2...

So today i woke up at like 1230 because i'm not so good at the time difference thing. Funny story i usually sleep til about that late but nanaimo time it was like 830 am...and i never get up that early. So Stacey woke me up and we went to the tanning salon which was interesting....i've never been before but i got pretty brown. Lol not gonna lie when the lid lowered on me i felt like i was in a fluoresant coffin. So after tanning we went back to stacey's and we discovered that there's not enough hot water for two girls to shower....not gonna lie not so much a fan of cold water when i have shampoo in my hair. So me and stacey went downtown today because she had go to the bank. So i went to the mall...worst mall EVER. lol my uncle and i went to a play of one of his employees tonight. It was called bus stop diner. I think its a marilyn monroe movie. So my uncle' cat is going all kung-ku kitty on his fish and its amazing. I'm going to the Pogue Fado in a few minutes with my uncle. It's his bar/restaurant and they have a sweet live band tonight. So i miss you guys like crazy already. Well tomorow i'm going tanning again and probably just wandering around town. Thats it for now, hopefully i'll get on before i go to Summerside (where i was born in PEI) on sunday. Love you guys so much

DAY 1

So last night i got home from bible study and spent the whole night packing and saying goodbye. I had a 30 minute nap and my uncle picked me up at 5 am...ish. We took off from cassidy airport around 6 and by 7 we were on another plane to Toronto from vancouver...lucky because we got the last 2 seats on that plane 10 minutes after we got there. The plane to toronto was huge. I'm talking massive. I had this harvey's sandwich thing but i felt sick like seconds later because i'm not so good with motion sickness....good times. Well we got to Toronto and today was like cheap seats on every airline so we thought we'd be stuck there forever but once again we got lucky and got on the first plane out. Unfortunately i had to sit next to two weirdos and when i woke up after a nap one of the creepers was watching me.....weirdo. So now i'm in Halifax and i'm at my uncle's for a bit....his house is obviously a boys lol. but he has cute kittens. Well i'm stuck wearing a flipping skirt because my stuff is still en route....hopefully it will get here tomorow morning...Well thats it for tonight...i miss you guys more than anything...

Leaving in less than 2 days...

So tonight i finished all my packing and all of my laundry....and man does it feel weird. I cant believe that i'll be saying good bye to my bestfriends tomorow night for a whole month. Not so sure if life is possible without them...but i'll try. I mean it might be difficult because really who enjoys travelling and cruising around the Caribbean? They're going to have an amazing time while i'm gone, i'm so excited for them to have a great time at prom....yeah i've gotten over the fact that i cant be there with them. But tyler and carlye promised they'd call me on prom night regardless of the fact that i'll be 4 hours ahead of them....just details......totally unimportant. I'm going to miss them like crazy...they're kind of like oxygen....'cept i probably wont suffocate without them....i hope. I'm going to see some pretty sweet things and to be fair i need a break to just relax and think and do some nice things for myself. I'm glad me and caitlyn arent fighting anymore....that was weird....and totally unneccesary. Well i think i might be done talking for now.....i cant talk forever like molly....oh how i'll miss her...man how weird is it going to be when they all talk like me and realize i'm a gillion miles away? Haha none of them are going to hear my ridiculous giggle for a whole month. Well thats it...i'm done....

Dear Birthday

So today is my 19th birthday!!!! And so far it's been a blast. At 12 a.m me and molly did a countdown for my birthday and as the clock struck 12 and i turned 19 i was dancing around my garage listening to "wicked little girls." I then received many text messages, emails, comments on nexopia and facebook and phone calls! How sweet! So after a few of these i decided to go to bed. But when i got to bed i was giggling....coz thats what 19 year old me does...giggle alot....no bigs.
So i started work at 930 am! Good friday and my birthday you'd think they'd give me a break or like $30 an hour....no such luck. My friend Sarah was working with me today so we talked about boys....coz thats what we do.....She and the others i work with kept making announcements over the PA that it was my birthday....pretty much was purple with embarrassment all day....And every break i had messages waiting on my phone saying happy birthday! On my last break i was disappointed to discover that no one had left me any messages....so a little bummed out i went back to work. About 10 minutes after i got downstairs who should appear at my til? CAITLYN FREAKING SPENCE!!! So she came through my till with some sweet pink stuff! I'm saying alot of pink stuff. she knows me sooooooooooooooooooo well. So things started getting busy and Caitlyn was shopping around the store with her mommy when my Dad and Miles and Angela walked in the front door. They started singing Happy Birthday and my dad had in his hand a present and 19 balloons!!! I was blushing sooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. And giggling coz everyone was staring at me. I guess Caitlyn heard the singing and saw the balloons because she came out of nowhere to join in on the singing man was it amazing. My boss let me off till for a few minutes while everyone watched me open my present. It was this cute thing you hang on the wall with a sweet saying on it. So eventually they left and i just stared at my balloons for the last hour of work and giggled alot totally randomly.
Then my mom dropped me off at Caitlyn's flipping house and we're sitting here totally amazed that molly sent me 5 ecards and that there were 25 emails waiting for me! how loved am i?
So Caitlyn is making dinner for me. Some crazy catteloni and soup and i'm excited. She's also singing to me and i'm so in love. Well thats my birthday up til 7:22 i'm sure more crazy stuff will happen.

Prom

So I'm pretty sure i've been looking forward to going to Halifax and then miami for like flippin' ever. But now i'm all bummed because all my friends are going to prom without me. I didnt go to prom last year because i went to mexico to build houses instead. I dont regret missing my prom....not gonna lie i hated my grad class. But i regret soooooo bad that all my bestfriends will be going to prom and i mean ALL and i'll be in a totally different time zone.....how upset am i? i know i'm being stupid and that i get to go on the sweetest trip ever.....but i just cant get psyched for it right now....well thats my blog....i'm sure it'll be happier next time?